Measuring love

The author explains that “many will either echo or oppose what they experienced as a child.” In other words, some parents repeat the parenting behaviours they experienced growing up, even if, like Owen, they recognise that these behaviours may be problematic. Others consciously choose to do the opposite, making a point of regularly telling their children that they love them.

Children who develop insecure attachment may continue into adulthood feeling anxious about disappointing their parents and seeking their approval. Insecure attachment can also be associated with difficulties in trusting others, expressing emotions, and forming close relationships. In Michael Owen’s case, his father’s approval appears to be particularly important to him, perhaps because it is so rarely given and therefore especially rewarding when received.

Students may vary in their answers. While football is steeped in images of stereotypically masculine behaviour, and so might be seen as a reason for a man to be lacking in emotional expression, behaviour is capable of change, there are plenty of female and male footballers who have no problem in expressing their feelings. The connection, if it exists, is probably weaker than is stated in the article.

Both men grew up with their fathers as role models and have struggled to avoid repeating their behaviour. Because their fathers consistently showed little emotion or affection, both men learned to see this as normal fatherly behaviour. Tennant has managed to break this pattern with his own children, although not with his parents. Owen, however, still struggles to express his feelings. He describes himself as “not soft enough” to tell his children that he loves them and appears unable to bring himself to say these words to his father either.