May 2024 Paper 1: Sample Response 5 (Infographic)
Some students begin the course by writing too much description in a Paper 1. They want to tell us everything that is happening in the text instead of interpreting and analyzing what the author is doing. Moving students from description to analysis can be tough. This is where exemplars can help.
This week’s update – found below – is the 5th exemplar we are publishing from the May 2024 examination using this text. It does not score particularly well in criterion A and criterion B. We often don’t publish exemplars that score on the lower end of the marking criteria, but we probably should.
Students who are at this level need support. And reading a Paper 1 that is too descriptive versus reading a Paper 1 that is analytical in nature (but still within reach of their abilities) is one way we can help students improve. Use this exemplar in conjunction with this one or this one. Both are better in terms of interpretation and analysis of the writer’s choices. Both are more analytical in nature and have more to say.
Alternatively, ask students to improve this exemplar, especially after each piece of evidence or quotation. This is where the magic happens (or doesn’t). Too often, students leave evidence to speak for themselves. It doesn’t, of course. They need to learn how to unpack the evidence, focusing on how the writer uses language (or image) to shape meaning.
As always, use what works for you, in your context, with your particular students and modify anything you need to change.
Best,
Tim and David