.

The word 'love' is vastly important, but also hopelessly vague. As one of the primary human emotions, it must be considered a fundamental part of the concept of 'Experience' - but is there agreement about what it really means? To what extent do we share the same experience of 'love', or even recognise it when it happens to us? The difficulty must be that the emotion of 'love' is profoundly influenced by the specific circumstances of each individual's experience - exactly who we love, and why, and when and where. But surely it is important to try to explore and grasp something of what is meant by the word 'love'.

I offer this, then, as a starting point for discussing 'love' with your students, in relation to the Theme Experiences.

The poem

I wrote this poem more than twenty years ago, for my wife Julita. She loved it (and there's an example of the word 'love' in action!), and always kept a copy in among her collection of jewellery, to read from time to time. In fact, it was a completely private poem between the two of us - I never showed it to anybody else.

Until now... because Julita died on 16 October 2021. Now, I feel I want the private to become public.

Anyway, here it is...

Using the poem

I believe that this is probably the best poem I have ever written - in part because it's technically skilful, making use of what I had learnt writing other poems; but mainly because it is simply honest. I didn't write it to explore new ideas... or to be 'profound'... or to 'impress' (whether myself or others). I just thought about what I experienced with Julita, and then wrote it addressing her directly. It is profoundly her poem... and if it's good, it's because she was special.

Given that basis, what use(s) can be made of the poem?

Personal story ... It may catch the students' attention, or make them think about this poem as something that arises out of someone's real lived experience, if you give the background story that I have recounted above, including the fact that Julita is now dead. Or not... this might simply get in the way of their own personal responses to the poem, or how they want to explore the topic of 'love' in different directions.

Topic raiser ... Although the word 'love' doesn't appear anywhere in the text, the students will surely work out quickly that it is all about love. You could then expand the discussion by -

• asking how they would define the word 'love' (involving dictionary study perhaps?)
• discuss different types of love ("loving your parents" versus "loving icecream")
• does everyone love? to the same extent? in the same ways? do men and women love differently?
• is there a difference between 'love' and 'being in love'?
• what distinction is there between 'love' and 'desire'?

And you can deal with those in any order, of course, as seems appropriate at the time.

Changing nature of love ... I trust that the students will quickly detect that this is about love in middle age, or at least about a love which had lasted some time. Time is involved, as indicated by the statement that neither hand nor heart are physically the same, or the "soft lines" that have "weathered" (see the portrait of Julita above). This will lead to some questions -

• Does love change with time?
• If so, how?
• Does love deepen over time?
• Or does time destroy love?
• Can your teenagers imagine what middle-aged love is like? (Or do they even believe it can exist?)
• Is 'love' naturally and inevitably different for teenagers?

Ideally, they should think about their own parents and relatives, and what 'love' means for them... but this may well be a very sensitive area, at least for some, and so to be approached with great caution.

Reading skills ... This is not a particularly complex text, but there are aspects which need to be interpreted and unfolded for the full meaning to become clear. Accordingly, the poem can be used to practise the skills of reading in detail, and exploring what exactly the wording means, thus developing sensitivity to the language. Consider the following aspects -

detailed phrasing - much of the language is simple, even everyday, thus direct and accessible; but there are phrases which are metaphorical, creating images which express implied meanings. For instance: "...the soft lines / that diamond feelings write" - what ideas does 'diamond' express?

structure - a good starting point would be to ask the students about the obvious repeating pattern of the stanzas. Each has three lines + the slight hiatus caused by the use of adverbs at the beginning of (most) second lines + the rhyme that arives at the end of the third line to close the stanza, and link it to other stanzas.

rhythm and rhyme - these contribute to the structure, as mentioned above... and how do these create tone and emotion?

Concrete and abstract ... The root meaning of the poem is that the physical and spiritual elements of love are deeply entwined - they coexist, and strengthen each other. To touch the one you love is to express and inspire emotion. This has to do with sexual desire, yes, (consider the word "comings") - but in this poem, touch is to do with tenderness, and profound respect. You might elicit this from the students by asking them to scan for all words which have 'concrete' meanings, and for words which have 'abstract meanings - and then discuss how the poem links these together.