This week, we are publishing another model example Paper 1 from the May 2023 exam. You can find it here. 

This exemplar is great to use with students.  The introduction is very specific and answers the guiding question without sounding robotic.   

However, the last body paragraph falls flat.  And this is a great opportunity for you to “teach-into” this exemplar!  A fruitful discussion can be had about what the student has done and what they could have done instead.  By making “x” choice, they have left out “y.”  That will almost always be the case in writing.  But now you can show your students that because the student made “x” choice in the last body paragraph, that meant the student didn’t have the time or space to write about “y.”  Once you as a class – or they as individual students – decide what would be better, they can re-write the last body paragraph to see how it improves the exemplar. 

In other words, work with your students to come up with a final body paragraph that “adds value."  This comparing and contrasting between the two paragraphs – yours versus the exemplar – will allow your students see the effect of their choices.  In thinking critically about those choices, students will (hopefully) be more aware about what the assessment task requires. 

Best,

Tim and David